Tonight I miss you so bad. I wish you were still here...Its been 10 years since you left. If only you could see me now. What I've been through, what I've become. I wish you could meet him. You would like him. I know you will. And I know he will love you too. Just as I do. And he'll be the son you never had..Will you be happy for me, Mom?
Its been lonely. Preparing my wedding without you is the saddest thing I've ever did in my life. I did not cry when you weren't there when I graduate. I did not cry when you weren't there when I got my first job. I did not cry when I have to go through surgery. But I feel like crying cause I know you won't be there when I get married.
I got tired preparing for my wedding. Doing everything alone is so tiring and frustrating. I need you more now than I ever did before. I see other girls preparing their wedding with their mom and I got jealous. I'm wishing for everything that I could never had... You.
Nobody knows how I felt cause I never let it show. Not even my bestfriend. For 10 years I've always pretend that I'm happy. That I'm strong. Because I don't want anybody to worry. I don't want anybody to pity me. You taught me that I need to take care of myself and my lil sis. But sometimes I'm not that strong...
I'll be the prettiest, happiest bride on my wedding day. Just like I've promised you when I was little. And I will stop crying. I'll be strong again. Just like I've promised you... Mom. I hope you are proud of me. It's ok that you are not here. But I hope we'll meet again. In heaven. I love you. And I miss you, Mom.